Have you ever wondered why change is so hard? Have you ever longed for transformation within yourself or your life but felt like you were constantly failing or sliding back into old patterns and habits that seem impossible to disrupt?
Well, I have. In fact, I felt this way most of my life. It was a constant cycle of striving for change or transformation then being disappointed when everything came crashing down, again and again. It was SO frustrating to live this way. I deeply desired change but felt utterly hopeless when it came to achieving or maintaining what I desperately longed for.
Fortunately, I found coaching, as a client and as a profession, and finally started putting together the puzzle of how to facilitate change and transformation in my life, and, by extension, the lives of others. Through my own process and coaching others, I have learned that true, meaningful, deep and lasting transformation is not always a straight line. In fact, sometimes it can feel like a roller coaster full of twists and turns, dips and twirls.
I have also learned that there are three ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS that everyone must master in order to have the transformation they desire. I desperately want to share with you what I’ve learned. I hope it helps you on your journey of transformation!
The first ESSENTIAL ELEMENT is AWARENESS. I know it seems fairly obvious! I mean, how can you change something you’re not even aware of?? What I’ve noticed, however, is that we all have blind spots – areas of our lives or things about ourselves that we aren’t fully aware of. And I don’t just mean the weaknesses or “problems.” I’m also talking about the strengths, resources, and resilience within ourselves that we aren’t fully tapping into. Until we become AWARE of what we want to change as well as the POWER and CREATIVITY we have within ourselves to make that happen, well, nothing will change.
The second ESSENTIAL ELEMENT is OWNERSHIP. There is so much I could say about this it’s hard to know where to start! Obviously, I’m not talking about the literal things that you own. I’m talking about a mindset. A mindset in which an individual believes that they are responsible for their outcomes and that they are capable of directly influencing their future. A mindset that learns to be accountable to themselves rather than looking for someone else to hold them accountable. A mindset that seeks to change their life by changing themselves rather than trying to change others. Just this morning I was reading the classic book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert T. Kiyosaki. In it the “rich dad” was teaching the boy a valuable lesson about this concept. He states, “If you think I’m the problem, then you have to change me. If you realize that you’re the problem, then you can change yourself, learn something, and grow wiser. Most people want everyone in the world to change but themselves. Let me tell you, it’s easier to change yourself than everyone else.” (Kiyosaki, R.T. p. 30-31). Taking ownership of yourself is key to change and transformation. Until you own it, own your life, own your decisions, own your emotions, own your past, own your future, you will stay stuck exactly where you are.
The third ESSENTIAL ELEMENT is ALIGNED ACTION. Notice it says, “aligned action,” not just any action. An ALIGNED ACTION is an action you take that is intentional, purposeful, and in alignment with the direction you want your life to go. It is in agreement with the goals, values, and priorities (more on that in a different article…) that are important to you. You really can’t expect change or transformation unless you take the action needed to create that change. How many times do we say we want or desire one thing, but our actions lead us in a different direction? When we can connect our passion with our action amazing things can happen!
So, there you have it. AWARENESS, OWNERSHIP, and ALIGNED ACTION. If you want real change or transformation in your life you need to master these three ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS. If any piece is missing then you will continue to struggle or feel like you aren’t making the progress that you’d like, but when all these pieces come together, watch out! That’s where the magic happens!
That’s why in each of my coaching sessions and programs these three elements are consistently reflected. I don’t mean to make this sound simple or easy. The truth is that there are so many more nuances and factors to transformation that I could have included in this article. In fact, I think I could fill a book. (Hmm, new project, maybe!) But when you boil it down to the bottom line, the essentials, this is what you’re left with. AWARENESS, OWNERSHIP, ALIGNED ACTION.
Connect with me to find out more about how you can master the ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF TRANSFORMATION!